Dear Amy: I invited another couple to join my wife and me at a fairly expensive restaurant to celebrate my wife’s birthday.
The other couple did not reach for their wallet when the check arrived.
The check sat for a while, and I finally paid for dinner.
They thanked me, but did not offer to contribute to the cost.
Was their expectation that I intended to pay for the entire dinner reasonable because I invited them to join us for the birthday dinner?
My intention was not to treat them to dinner, but I am not sure how I should have handled this awkward situation.
– Not Cheap, But Confused
Dear Not Cheap: When you issued the invitation for these two people to join you for a celebration dinner, you were asking them to be your guests, and the expectation would be for you to treat them.
The apre-dinner politeness dance dictates that the other couple might reach for their wallets – or offer to pay for the drinks or dessert – and you would say, “Absolutely not – you are our guests.”
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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